5 Questions to Ask Yourself if You Think You Drink Too Much

How to understand your relationship with alcohol and find ways to improve it.

I told myself I wasn’t that bad. I wasn’t like those other moms that clearly had a problem.

I didn’t drink every day, and I wasn’t hiding alcohol from my husband. I was drinking right along with everyone else.

But I knew something was wrong; my heart was hurting and I couldn’t deny it anymore. Alcohol was consuming my every thought.

I was constantly asking myself: When can I start drinking? Why can’t I control it once I start? Am I drinking too much? When will I know when I need to quit?

I knew I wasn’t sitting at “rock bottom,” but I didn’t want to wait until I was to begin building a better life for myself and my family.

When I started asking a different kind of question, I was able to see a clearer picture of my relationship with alcohol and what needed to change.

I hope these questions are able to do the same for you —

How often am I thinking about drinking?

This forces you to look at how much mental space alcohol is taking up - even when you aren’t actively drinking. Once you see how much energy you’re really giving alcohol, you are able to imagine a life where you are free to think about literally anything else, and how incredible that could feel.

Try this: Notice your thoughts throughout the day — anxiety about wanting to drink less, how much you want to (or hope you don’t) drink later, embarrassment at drinking way more than that, justifying why you don’t need to quit right now, hangxiety, wishing you drank less, etc.

No need to do anything with the answer to this question. For now, just notice.

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Do I like who I am when I drink?

Are you embarrassed or ashamed about how you acted when you drank more than you wanted to? Even when I was hammered drunk, I was still able to hear a very quiet voice in the back of my head that something was off. This question gets into some of the nasty stuff and forces you to accept this one truth: Your opinion of yourself is the only one that matters.

Try This: Reflect on how sober you sees yourself the next morning. Does alcohol change your mood, patience, boundaries, capabilities? How often do you drink while wishing you drank less? Are you proud of the person you are when you drink?

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Am I keeping promises to myself?

This is a no-bullshit check-in with yourself and can help identify some areas of additional struggle around alcohol.

Try this: Pay attention to how often you set drinking rules, whether it’s just one, or only on the weekends. For now, it doesn’t matter if you are able to keep those promises or not. Just pay attention to how often you are forcing boundaries around your drinking.

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When do I want to drink?

This can be a bit more difficult, so be kind to yourself. You can become aware of certain triggers you may not even notice currently, or you may determine ways you are using alcohol to cope or emotionally regulate. When you identify these underlying triggers, you can start finding healthier ways to respond.

Ask this gently and with genuine curiosity. It’s not anything to be ashamed of.

Try this: Notice what time of day you begin to think about drinking. Who do you want to drink with? Is there a certain emotion that makes you want to drink more than others? (I wanted to drink the most when I was stressed, but I know others feel a stronger urge to drink when they are celebrating.)

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Do I wish I drank less?

When you put boundaries around your drinking but don’t hold them, how do you feel the next morning? Even when you don’t put boundaries around your drinking, how bad are your hangovers? How do you feel about yourself when you are hungover?

Try this: Visualize the mornings you want for yourself. Imagine your perfect evening at home. See the entire life you want to live and the person you want to be. Once you have the goal in mind, you can start building habits to get your closer.

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You don’t have to have all the answers right now, and there often isn’t one right answer, but the questions you ask can make a big difference.

Comment below and let me know question you found the most helpful, or questions of your own that you want to share!

When you stop asking questions like Am I drinking too much and starting asking questions like:

Is alcohol serving your best interest? How could my life be better? Am I happy like this?

you realize alcohol isn’t black-and-white. You don’t need to wait to be “bad enough” or hit rock-bottom before choosing something better for yourself.

You can start today.