Lessons from a Croissant on Being Bored in Sobriety

Don't let the fear of being boring stop you from living the sober life you deserve.

At some point yesterday afternoon, after I had put my 2 year old’s jacket on and taken it off three separate times, after she had asked to watch Ms. Rachael and I had told her it was literally playing on the tv behind her (I think that happened 4 or 5 times?), and also after my 4 year old had gone upstairs for the second time to ask his dad to play with him, I decided the solution was not going to be found inside our house.

Both my kids (ages 2 and 4) were home from daycare yesterday, while my husband and I both still had work. We’re lucky enough to be able to work from home when things like this happen (holidays, sick days, etc.), but as any parent knows, sometimes that’s actually harder.

All day long, my husband and I were bouncing back and forth, tagging in and out, juggling who’s got meetings when, checking emails, “Give me 20 minutes,” “I’ve got this; go work,” “Are you almost done?”

Around 3pm, after the younger one had collapsed in (another) fit over tears over definitely nothing, I declared it was time for a ride.

It was a “reverse oxygen-mask” type of situation.

It was not a case of “let me help myself before I can help you.”

It was I’ll do anything to get us all through these next 30 minutes.

The answer was a seven-minute drive away. An iced chai and a couple of plain croissants, not toasted. (Unfortunately, I am under strict orders to return if it comes out toasted).

As my husband was helping me apply socks and shoes to four little feet, he said, “But I don’t really want crumbs in my car.”

I looked at him and kindly asked, “Is that what you’re choosing to prioritize right now?”

It made me think of early sobriety.

Or even the days before early sobriety, when you look at all the life you have left and think about all the days before you, and you wonder what it will feel like to live without alcohol. It’s scary and uncertain and you can’t help but worry about things like:

Will I be boring? What will everyone say? How will I have fun without alcohol?

Aren’t you trying to save yourself from the constant anxiety of worrying if you’re drinking too much? I thought you wanted to put an end to the shame and embarrassment that’s comes with each hangover? I know you’re tired of always breaking your promises to yourself (you know the one where you’ll keep it to a respectable two drinks this time)?

For so many people, sobriety is THE way to build a life you love and are proud of and are truly free.

And you’re afraid of being boring??

In the words of me, earlier today:

“Kitten, we’re getting through this one way or another, and croissants are the answer right now.”

There are going to be crumbs.

There are going to be times when you are boring. There are going to be times when you leave the bar earlier than you normally would.

But what is going to get us through this day? It’s a croissant, wherever it gets eaten.

What is going to help you wake up tomorrow proud of yourself & hangover-free? Sometimes, it’s being boring; it’s leaving early.

In sobriety, there are always going to be sacrifices, minor inconveniences, things we really don’t want to have to deal with. Kind of like…crumbs. But being able to comfortably live with yourself, without alcohol tormenting you every other day; doesn’t that seem way more important? Doesn’t that seem worth a couple crumbs?

My hope is that the handful of times in sobriety that you definitely positively undoubtedly will be boring (the aforementioned crumbs) seem smaller compared to the goal of living happily with yourself every single other day.

As we return our story to the battle at the Homefront today, you’ll find my husband and I buckling the kids into the carseats, and you’ll hear him say that obviously the kids could eat in the car.

I looked at him and said, “They were always going to.”